You Crossed My Mom - Bloomsday (SKETCH)
You better be careful, because this lady holds a grudge like a mother.
Cast:
Kristina Feliciano (IG: @KristinaIsComedy/TW: @KweenOfComedy)
Tayler Bungo (IG: @lol_bungo)
Gwen Coburn (@sadgrlsongsgwen)
Writer: Gwen Coburn
Director: Nina Fragine (@NinaFragine)
Producer: Michelle Ciccotelli (IG: @michelleciccotelli TW: @michelleacicc)
Editor: Michelle Ciccotelli
Team Members:
Alex Otis (@noticedbyotis)
Shannon DeVido (@shannondevido)
Sydney Neilson (@sydney_neilson)
Special Thanks:
William Colón
James Thorne
Leslie Lawler
Bo Krucik
Sound Effects from Storyblocks.com
Join GOLD Comedy today: https://club.goldcomedy.com/
Instagram: @GOLDComedy
Twitter: @GOLDComedy
TikTok: @GOLD_Comedy_
LYRICS:
Oh hey!
Yeah, I’m staying at my mom’s.
You want to catch up before I leave town?
I don’t think that’s gonna work.
Ooh you wanna be my friend, You can’t you crossed my mom
You wanna reconnect but oh no, you crossed my mom
You think it’s up to me? couldn’t be more wrong
I’ll forgive you and forget you, but not my mom
She remembers everything, you crossed my mom
“You mean the Jess who pushed you off the swings”?, bitch you crossed my mom
She’s got a shit list, which you bet you’re on
You’re dead to her now, you crossed my mom
Yeah she’s a mother and a gangster, a cul-de-sac OG
You fucked up, she kept score, Game over, she’s the referee
She won’t tell you, but you're screwed Yeah you blew it,
She’ll blast you over a glass of wine to her whole book club crew
She’ll say “hi” in Stop and Shop cause she don’t wanna be rude
But don’t mistake it for nice, she’s just polite, you’re in a feud
she’d fight you if she could
You made her daughter cry that time you cut in front-of- me in the hot lunch line
… you wanna make amends, You can’t you crossed my mom
She makes soup like a boss, and holds a grudge like a don
She dresses like claire dunphy, but she rages like king kong
She’ll destroy you without smudging her burt’s bees tinted lip balm
Mind a like a steel trap, yeah you crossed my mom
“Who remembers all that high school crap?”, uhm, only my mom
To most of my friends, she’s a mom straight out of a sitcom
But you should watch your back, cause you crossed my mom
If I’m being honest, I’m sorry that it’s gotta be this way
She can’t let go of the time you got the lead in that high school play
When she spent all summer driving me to ballet,
I told her mom, I’m 31 now, it’s really okay
But she still talks in her sleep bout that production of cabaret
Mom, you gotta let it go, you can’t stay mad forever
It was 15 years ago, and these hard feelings are hurting your blood pressure
Mom I love you but hide your displeasure
Can’t have (all this hate) (for my mate) (feel betrayed) (cause she didn’t invite me) to her birthday in the sixth grade.
[doorbell]
[laughter]
You are just a riot, Jessica. How did you and Caroline meet again?
Thanks Mrs. Mooney, we’ve known each other forever actually. Yeah, we went to high school together! Yeah, we both tried out for this musical and… I don’t wanna brag, but…
NOOOOO!
… In case you still had doubts, Yeah you crossed my mom
Your name is dirt in her house, Yeah you crossed my mom
Don’t let her smile fool you, as soon as you’re gone
She’ll be dropping diss tracks “ That Jessie was always so HEADSTRONG”
She hates your fucking guts, bitch you crossed my mom
There’s no if ands or buts, now you know you crossed my mom
I think you’re pretty cool, we’d probably get along
But you’ll never come to dinner, cause you crossed my mom.
